The Childhood Conclusions Fix by Lisette Schuitemaker

Author:Lisette Schuitemaker
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Inner Traditions/Bear & Company

NEGATIVE SELF-TALK

Whoever is in charge of my life, it isn’t me.

When I give in to other people, at least they’re happy.

What else can I do?

If I want something, I bet it’s not allowed.

When I say something, it is generally misunderstood.

I had better keep my mouth shut.

I will keep smiling so I seem full of good cheer.

They don’t listen to me anyway.

I should not let on what I feel.

I’m better off hiding my feelings.

I am furious but I must keep my rage inside.

I hate them, but I act as if nothing is wrong.

I can’t resist them – can I?

I’d better play the fool, or I will explode.

I guess it is my fate to give in all the time.

I should just do what others think is good for me.

But it is so frustrating not to be able to go my own way.

If I only knew what my own way was.

I feel lost.

I resent all of them.

I hate them, I hate my life, I hate being me.

I want to be free of everyone and their stupid wishes.

I have to hide myself, make myself invisible.

Let me grab something to eat – that always helps.

When I eat, I feel good.

Or do I truly know how I feel?

I am not sure.

I can’t help it, can I?

The habit of swallowing resistance and resentment and going along with what seems to be wanted from us is strong. “This is just how it is,” we think when we are weighed down by this childhood conclusion that perpetuates a sense of victimhood. It seems impossible to alter our lives and the situations, big and small, we don’t wish to be in. We will surely not be listened to… so we take another bite of food and scold ourselves once more for being weaklings who just let things slide.

We may come to a point of being fed up with the struggle and the victimhood, which is a good place to be in. This will make us go and rummage in the thousand-drawer treasure trove to find our original creative state of being.

Core gifts

Like everyone else, we were born with a wealth of talents and gifts. We have locked them away to keep them safe and untainted by what transpired when we were young. Once we start to turn this childhood conclusion, these gifts will help us take control of our own lives.

Creativity is the tool of the ongoing process of creation. Our natural creative impulse was so precious to us as children that when it was misunderstood, taken or violated we hid it deep within, and there it still is, unharmed, untouched, unspoilt. When step by small step we lay down the burden of self-recrimination, we will notice how our natural creativity starts to flow again. At work, in the kitchen, with friends, in the way we make connections between people who are happy to meet but would not have got together without us. When we no longer give others authority over our lives, we can begin to follow the threads of our creative impulses and weave our very own tapestry.

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